Friday, November 13, 2009

Finding a partner

I used to follow a few forums, and one common theme was people looking for boyfriends or grilfriends. Their posts would have subjects like "Looking for bf" or "Need a gf".

I've always believed that looking for a partner often leads to heartache because you're not really looking for someone that's suitable for you. Rather, you're looking for something to fill an emptiness. I would occasionally post a reply along these lines.

Instead of looking for a partner, make new friends. Accept invitations to parties or dinners or other group acttivities. As you get to know more people, you'll also get to know their friends or even their siblings. Somewhere in this ever-growing circle, you might meet someone who likes you for who you are and not what he or she wants you to be. Then, I believe, you'll have found your soulmate.

A friend of mine did just that, accepting an invitation from a friend to go scuba diving. On one such outing, she met a friend of a friend who introduced her to another friend. Long story short, they eventually got married and are both very happy.

Sometimes looking for a partner works, but usually it doesn't. If you're looking to fill an emptiness, I truly believe that widening your social circle is the way to go.