Taboo with Cathy, David and Rebecca 20150822

It was David's night.

Opinion – the necessity of going to school

I have heard students ask why they need to go to school.  Many honestly do not understand the need to know who Oliver Cromwell was and the fact that Suriname is part of South America, one of nine countries that have a land border with Brazil.  Why do they need to go to school?  What are they learning there?

I would like to opine that students go to school to learn.  However, they are not just there to learn what books have to offer.  Rather, they are there to also learn life skills.  For one thing, they are learning how to learn.  By having to sit through subjects that are of no interest to them, they are learning how to cope with challenges.  Learning to pay attention to something that holds little interest for them can prepare them for the future when they might find themselves in similar situations.

A varied curriculum also allows a young person to discover his skills and talents.  Whatever he finds interesting, be it math or geography or language, could become his life’s work.  School offers a safe place for young people to learn about themselves and about the things they are good at.

School is also a place to make friends and learn to deal with those who hold opposing views and beliefs.  Under the guidance of professional educators, youngsters can safely define themselves through the acquaintances they make.  Watching their peers and understanding their own feelings towards the behaviour of those around them help students to mold themselves into the kind of person they want to be.

A good teacher, in my opinion, is one who looks beyond the books, homework and tests and makes the effort to help students grow into the sort of people who will fit well into society.  A good teacher will harness the rebelliousness of a young person and channel that aggression into something positive.  School is a place where students can safely push the boundaries and learn what the consequences are for their actions.

These are a few of the things I’ve said to students who have asked me why they need to go to school.  While it’s simply the opinion of just one person, many of those students seemed to understand and agree with my point of view.

Observations – things that worked in the classroom

Keeping in mind that different people have different brains, I want to note right from the start that what works with one student may not work with another.  I found this out by trial and error.  Here, I’d like to share a few things that worked for me.

The biggest kick I got out of teaching in Hong Kong happened in a Form 3 classroom.  As with most of my early teaching days, this was a six-week project.  In this case, I had to teach phonics to different age groups.  On my first day in that particular room, a few of the students walked up to me, looked me over and then flipped their hair or other body parts at me before strutting away.  Then, a girl from the second row did the same thing.  She looked me up and down, sneered and flipped her hair at me before walking away.  I called her back and told her that she was now in third form and was no longer a baby.  In fact, she was already a young woman.  I said it was up to her how I treated her.  If she behaved like a little child, I would treat her like a little child.  But if she wanted me to treat her like a young woman, she would have to start acting like one.  By the end of the six weeks, she was my star student.  It was great watching her try her hardest to understand the lessons.  Even more satisfying was to hear two teachers talking about her, saying how she had changed and how she was paying more attention in class.  Sometimes, one simply needs to explain Life and present a reasonable challenge to turn a youngster around.

There was another project involving a group of Form 2 boys.  One of them sat at the back of the class looking around at everyone.  It soon became clear that he was a leader of sorts.  Unfortunately, it was a case of him leading a pack of wannabe trouble-makers.  I couldn’t pin anything on him because he didn’t actually do anything wrong that first day, but he was obviously enjoying the way a few others were trying to get me riled up and then looking to him for approval.  During my second lesson with them, I split them up into groups and appointed a leader for each, making him head of a group that included hard workers and trouble-makers.  I guess it was the recognition of his leadership ability that did the trick, because he made sure everyone in his group did the work.  The rest of the time I was there, he made sure that all the boys kept quiet and paid attention.  Occasionally, that meant him standing up and shouting at someone.  However, that’s the kind of disruption that I welcome, so I let him be.  At the end of the course, he told me that I was the best teacher he’d had.  In his case, I was lucky that I was able to identify his need and give him what he wanted.

One challenge I faced was a Primary 6 student who wanted everyone to know how good he was at story-telling.  I was teaching a writing course and was talking about mind maps when he abruptly stood up and asked if he could read out a poem he’d just written.  I had to decline because it was not part of what they had to learn that day, but I promised him I would give him time during the next lesson.  Before class was over, I asked everyone to write something that they wanted to share and said I would call up a few of them to read out what they’d written.  At the start of the next lesson, I asked who wanted to stand before the class and share their work.  Of course, “Poet” had his hand up right away, so I let him start.  Only one other boy volunteered to share his story, so he went next.  There was one girl, though, sitting up front, who looked like she wanted to speak but was unsure if she should put her hand up, so I asked her if she’d like to read what she’d written.  She did.  The rest of that lesson went to plan, and I had a happy bunch of boys and girls by the time the project came to an end weeks later.  “Poet” posed what was really a simple challenge.  He wanted to be noticed, so giving him a few minutes to show off to his classmates was all he needed. 

I was fortunate to teach in a number of different classrooms with age groups ranging from Primary 3 to Form 6.  The experience taught me about different types of students with different needs and circumstances, situations that challenged me to come up with appropriate solutions.  I believe that each child who touched my life has made me a better person and a better teacher.

Observations – different people, different brains

One of the worst things that parents can do is to compare their children with others.  Even within a family with more than one offspring, each child is going to have different skills and talents.  Just because the eldest is a Maths whizz, this doesn’t mean that all the others should follow in his footsteps.  The child who was born an artist is going to struggle with numbers and logic, just as the mathematician might fail to understand the beauty of light and form.  And the arguer is not being confrontational: he is merely making his points in the way he knows best.  In fact, he could grow up to become a top lawyer.

One of the saddest things I’ve seen is a Form 5 student crying because she felt she was letting her parents down.  This young lady said she couldn’t understand her Physics schoolwork.  She always scored the lowest in class and her teacher was beginning to give up on her.  Even a few of her classmates had started to tease her.

I asked her why she was studying Physics if it was something she had little interest in and she replied that this was what her parents wanted.  Apparently, she loved to draw and did so to relax.  She had a vivid imagination and loved to sketch.  What she described as her doodles were, to my untrained eye, beautiful illustrations.  So how is it possible for a creative artistic brain to come to grips with the rigidity that is the discipline of Physics?

I have met many a student in a similar situation.  The parents – usually the father – expect their child to become a doctor or a lawyer or some other high-earning individual.  I would hazard a guess and say that all parents hope their children will grow up to become rich and famous.  Many of us dream of seeing our offspring succeed way beyond what we ourselves have achieved, and we might feel obligated to push our children in the “right” direction.  Sadly, some parents forget, or perhaps simply don’t realise, that what we want for our children’s future might not be what is best for them.

It gets worse when teachers step in and start comparing their students.  Failing to see the potential in a youngster and expecting him to achieve the same level of competence in all subjects is unrealistic.  A History teacher who rewards his charges who do well while ignoring – or worse, constantly critising – those who lag behind is failing in his duty to educate his students.  It might be too much to expect teachers to be patient and to cultivate the natural talents in each child, but that’s what a good teacher tries to do, in my opinion. 

Parents and teachers need to take the time to see what each child is good at and try to adapt so that the potential is allowed to blossom.  Not all of them will grow up to be doctors or lawyers.  Some will rock the world with their music, others will fascinate their audiences with their art and still others will make their mark by entertaining those doctors and lawyers with their humour and wit.  Each child is different, with a different brain.  We parents and teachers will best serve them by keeping that in mind.  

I want to say a word of thanks to my son for this knowledge.  I love writing and it’s my hobby.  My son, however, used to struggle in school putting his thoughts on paper.  Give him a canvas, though, and he expresses himself through his wonderful works of art.  I, on the other hand, am terrible when it comes to drawing.  It was by watching him grow up that I realised how different we all are, and that each person has his or her own strengths and weaknesses.  We as parents and teachers need to identify those strengths and nurture them.  At the same time we have to understand that what we consider a weakness might just be the bright spark that lights up a child’s life.

Observations – classroom disruptions

Almost every classroom has one – that student who won’t sit still, or who likes to talk to others, or disrupts the class in one of a dozen different ways.  Too often, teachers focus on the problem rather than trying to understand the cause.  To be fair, educators are under a lot of pressure on a daily basis and can’t always afford the time to find out why a student is being disruptive.

That said, it is a poor teacher, in my opinion, who belittles or lashes out at a student who won’t sit still.  Youngsters have a way of pushing authority to its limits, but a well-seasoned educator knows that an aggressive response simply makes the situation worse.  Too often, the end result is that the student is suspended or even expelled, but has the school achieved its goal of educating young minds when that happens?

Having spent a few years talking with young people of different ages, these are a few of the reasons I’ve come across for disruptive behaviour.  The following is by no means comprehensive.  On the contrary, it is merely an over-simplified peek at possible reasons for certain kinds of behaviour.  Nor does it offer any suggested solutions.  Teachers are already too busy to be expected to find the time to deal constructively with problems in the classroom.

Giggling:

This happened occasionally during the English speaking exam when the candidates were taking part in the group discussion.  I’m talking about 6^th Form students here, boys aged 18 or 19 who suddenly broke out in giggles while another candidate was speaking.  One stern look from me and they tried to stop, but they couldn’t.  The anguish was plain on their faces as they tried to stifle their outbursts while being unable to do so.  Were they disrupting the session?  Absolutely.  Were they being malicious?  Absolutely not.  One reason for disruptive behaviour, then, appears to be nervousness.

Talking during lessons:

It can be so annoying when a teacher is trying to explain something and someone starts whispering in class.  Why does this happen?  I’ve come across two reasons: boredom and zealous creativity.  A student can feel bored if he finds that the material is not challenging enough.  He already knows the answers and needs to find something else to stimulate his imagination.  The creative youngster, on the other hand, is bursting with ideas and can’t wait to share them with everyone else.  Punishing the bored or creative student serves no purpose, except perhaps to break them and stop them from becoming the best that they can be.

General disruption:

Occasionally one will come across a student who bullies or steals or finds other ways to hurt classmates.  Once again, malice might not be the reason for such behaviour.  A youngster who has to deal with a lot of stress at home might take it out on those around him at school.  An attention seeker, meanwhile, will do almost anything to get people to look at him.  Once again, chastisement is not the best solution for dealing with such situations.  The stressed student needs a place where he can feel safe and face stimulating challenges without having to deal with any undue pressure, while the attention seeker needs to be appreciated and reassured that he is indeed noticed, though people may not applaud every little thing that he does.

I have found that disruptive behaviour is not always the result of malice, and recognising the symptoms is the first step, in my opinion, in dealing with different challenges posed by those who rely on us to guide them through life.

Never say "Never".

We've all heard it before, I'm sure: never say "Never".  Why?  Because you have no idea what the future holds.  As the late John Lennon once said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

There were a few occasions in my life when I said that word "Never".  Back in the 70s, I said I would never carry a credit card.  Of course, I have one now. 

Hong Kong has a payment system called the Octopus card, which acts like a debit card.  I said I would never get one because I was against the concept that the company demanded a fifty-dollar deposit.  As life would have it, there came a time when I couldn't leave home without it. 

I had once said I would never carry a mobile phone because I didn't see the need to always be contactable.  And then I met the beautiful lady whom I would eventually marry.  She told me there was no way she'd go out with me unless I had a phone with me at all times.  I now have two. 

In 1995, the radio station I was working at decided to cut costs by firing all the music presenters and turning the English channel into an all-music one.  I said I would never return to that microphone because I was so upset at the decision to let us go.  Three months later I was back on the air, having been invited to join the station's news department. 

And I told a couple of friends in 2001 that I would never get married.  There I was, 40-something, single and living on my own.  I said I wouldn't get married because I treasured my freedom.  I was accountable to no one and free to live as I pleased.  Not only that, but before I could get married, I'd have to meet someone, date her, and see how things develop.  Such a relationship can go in one of only two directions: marriage or split.  Why would I want to go through all that hassle?  "If I ever do get married," I said, "it will be to someone who comes into my life and turns my world upside down, not for any particular reason but just because of who she is.  And that person doesn't exist.  So, I'll never get married."  Less than a month later, a former girlfriend phoned me and asked if I could fix her sister's laptop.  We had dinner.  Then we had lunch.  And wouldn't you know it?  My world was suddenly upside down.

As you gaze into your future, some things might appear to be impossible and you might be tempted to say "Never".  If you do, just remember that Life happens, even when you don't expect it to.